Few words to say
by vivid-heart
Summary: Different version of "Reunion". Tiva, complete.


The door opened up. Her eyes spoke, they said that she is sorry. Her face had a twisted expression of pain, shame and hurt.

"I should have believed you." Ziva said and shrugged. "I am sorry."

Tony looked at her silently. He wanted to say or do something, but he couldn't, something stopped him from doing anything.

"I am sorry." Ziva held her tears. "I don't know what else to say." She lowered her gaze to the ground and tried keep herself together. She lifted her eyes back to Tony, who opened his mouth, but didn't say anything, he didn't have any words.

"He lied to me. He betrayed me, my father and the whole Mossad." Ziva says and remembers the helpless feeling inside of herself, when she realized, that she couldn't do anything to save Michael.  
>Guilt, pain and another loss in her life.<p>

Tony knew, who Ziva was thinking in that moment, when she looked at him with absent look in her eyes. She was thinking about Michael. Tony remembered how he fired shots to his chest and he fell to the floor. What other choice would he had other than to kill him? It was Michael who attacked first. All Tony wanted was to be sure that Ziva was honest, loyal and not being used. And when Tony realized Michael could hurt his partner, an over protective feeling inside of him took over and maybe Michael saw that and attacked. Tony just wanted to stay alive and protect Ziva, but until he was laying on the cold concrete ground in Tel Aviv, right outside of the Mossad headquarters, he realized what he had done and how it had affected on Ziva and himself. And he realized what she felt for Michael – she loved him. "Guess I'll never know." She said, but they both knew the truth. Tony saw it from her eyes and felt it near her - the kind of love that Mossad assassin could show towards another human being, but Ziva wouldn't admit it. Maybe it was because of where she came from and because of her training, that having these kind of emotions were the same thing as death. Having emotions like this, were a weakness and a easy way for the enemy to have a control.

"I wanted to kill you." Ziva said and shook her head. "I thought you ruined everything for nothing." She looked at Tony, who had turned his gaze away. There were so many questions inside of him, but he thought they weren't worth asking.

"But you just... You wanted..." Ziva started, when Tony finally opened his mouth and interrupted her.

"You don't need to apologize." He said, turning his gaze back on her and watching something change in Ziva's eyes.

"Why?" She asked. "I know now, that you had your reasons."

"Ziva... I'm sorry." He said with a voice that moved Ziva deeply.

She was about to cry. She was about to break down to little pieces, but she kept it together.

"But Tony, you were on my side. You tried to protect me."

Tony looked deep in Ziva's dark eyes. Was she going to cry? No, the Ziva that he knew, wouldn't cry, but... was this woman still the same Ziva that he knew?

"But..." He said and tried to make some her understand something.

"No, Tony. I am sorry and you were right. He was a traitor. To everyone of us." Ziva corrected him.

"But your feelings..."

Ziva raised her finger to stop Tony for saying something more. "No, there weren't any feelings."

Tony took a grip of her hand and pulled her closer. "Look me in the eye and tell me, that you are not lying."

Ziva pierced her eyes through Tony. She looked something from inside of him – truth, jealousy, pain, anything. She opened her mouth slowly and lowered her voice. "I am not lying."

Tony let her go. She didn't need to lie, but it was her own way to protect herself from the vulnerable feelings that love brought with itself.

With a quick gaze to the expression on his face, she could read him like a book. "You do not believe me."

"It doesn't matter what I believe." Tony shook his head.

"Of course it does!" Ziva said suddenly and placed her hands to his arm. "Of course it matters."

Tony looked at the cold fingers on his skin. "Why?" He asked and looked into her eyes.

"Because you wanted to protect me." Ziva answered. "And I blamed you and I almost killed you, because I didn't change the perspective. My judgment was cloudy."

"You had a pretty good reason to hate me." Tony remembered.

Ziva suddenly pulled herself closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I should have believed you." She said quietly against his chest. "I should have known that you wouldn't just kill anybody like that."

Tony placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away. "He would've hurt you. He would have used you somehow. And when I realized that, I just... I couldn't..." He tried to finish his words, but the right words didn't come out.

Ziva looked at him and wanted so badly to break down. She wanted to fall apart, fell down to her knees and let him pick her up, but a stubborn voice inside of her head wouldn't let her do that.

Tony turned his lost words into action. He leaned towards her and kissed her forehead. Tony wanted to make her feel better and take even half of the burden that she carried from her.  
>She leaned towards his chin and sighed. The carnival of emotions inside of her made her feel tired.<p>

"You wanna come in?" Tony asked.

Ziva parted from him and tried to smile, like everything was alright and nothing at that moment didn't hurt her at all. This situation was so much more different than anything she ever had to face. Maybe it would be easier to be tortured, because then there would be only two choices, to live or die. Right at this moment, she had too many choices – she could either break down or yell and cry and scream... show someone a weak part of herself.

Tony let go off her shoulders. "Ziva?" He asked from his partner who was deep inside of her own thoughts.

"Yes?" Ziva dropped back to reality. "Oh... I think I should go home." Ziva said and turned around. Tony took her hand and told her to stop.

"Yes?" She turned to him.

"I know, Ziva..." Tony started. "I know, what you felt for Michael."

Ziva didn't say anything, she just smiled. It was a sad smile and told more to him than words ever could. She did love him, in some level, she loved him and being betrayed by someone who she loved, was devastating.

"And it's not bad thing to admit that you have feelings for another human being." Tony said and scratched his head. "You can cry and kick this door, if you want to. I don't mind. Maybe you should just let it out."

She smirked a little. "I rather let you see me naked, than let you see my cry like a little baby." Ziva said lightly and walked away.

Tony leaned against the door and sighed. "I'm sorry..." He whispered to the night and went back inside.

Ziva's back leaned against her car. She hid her face to her hands. "I'm sorry..." She said silently and sat in her car.  
>The darkness of the night didn't bother her at all, because it covered the tears that were running down on her cheeks - those same tears, she just moments ago tried so hard to keep inside of herself.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>So, this a bit weird fic, i admit that. bringing michael up, makes everything a little bit weirder. I don't know what was my perspective when i wrote this.<strong>  
><strong>this is kinda of a different version of "Reunion" from the season 7. possibly not better at all.<strong>  
><strong>still, not owning ncis or the character. sad and true fact.<strong>  
><strong>hope you even tried to enjoy.<strong>  
><strong>-L<strong>


End file.
